Thursday, July 13, 2006

Captain of the S.S. Hot Topic


Captain Jack Sparrometer: 1/10

Although the picture quality is poor, I don't think what's wrong with this costume could be any clearer. No beard ropes, no beads, no part of the costume not bought at Hot Topic, NO Jack Sparrow.

Now some of ye that frequent Ye Olde Hot Topic might be feeling outraged at me, for not everyone that shops there necessarily would wear a Jack Sparrow costume of this quality, but I think I have come up with a scenario that explains how this monstrosity came about.....

Old Pilgrim Buckle was walking through the mall one day looking for a Jack Sparrow costume for the Vampire Lovefest Holloween Ball when he came upon his favorite store, Hot Topic. He went in hoping they had some PotC chain wallets or decorative wristbands, or maybe just a stupid Family Guy T-shirt, but he found so much more: Jack Sparrow dreadlocks complete with a red headband. Then he exclaimed, "this would go great with my Jack Skelington costme I bought here last year!"

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