Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Pirate of the Sparrometer: The Curse of the Blue Vest

Captain Jack Sparrometer: 5.5/10

By the double beard ropes on my chiny chiny chin! This Captain Jack deserves major double beard props for his Jack Sparrow array. He's got it down to the tiniest silver dubloon on his head cloth. Ay but don't think I've gotten soft on ye mateys!!!

What is with all the blue vests going around? I think this guy has been spending a little to much time on Gay Jack's special island, if ye know what I mean. And blue jeans! Any seaworthy bilge rat could tell you that Captain Jack doesn't wear jeans.

But, bilge rats aside, I wish I could preserve this Jack in fried popcorn shrimp batter so that future wanna-be Sparrows could see what it takes.

Well.....I guess we could do without the body since the head is the only good part. Blue vest?!


At 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yer a friggin' idiot. This guy is a minus-1. His costume isn't close to accurate. The photo is poor quality. The top guy is the 7 who you call greasy--got news for ya Einstein--Jack Sparrow is agreasy--he's a friggin' filthy priate, ya loooser! Hey get this: 1/10 for you as a judge of Jack Sparrow wanna-be's! How's that ya self-important moron.

At 7:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To whomever is the blogmaster here, I happen to know the world's best Capt. Jack impersonator. He even worked an event I was at recently, serving as an emcee for a BIG "Pirates of the Caribbean" party. You can see a video by checking out and checking for Capt. Jack impersonators. I also have great pictures from the event I attended.

At 11:52 AM, Blogger CaptainJackWillGetYouHighTonight said...

Woah there anonymous. I'm sorry that my Sparrometer has offended, wait no I'm not. No, he's not amazing and maybe he didn't deserve a seven, but at the time of posting he was the best I had seen. And the guy I called greasy isn't a pirate...he shouldn't be that greasy! I would like some authentic Sparrow grease if he had an authentic Sparrow costume to go with it.

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Hate to bust your bubble there, mate. But Jack Sparrow's vest -is- blue.

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